


The Zero Mortals Manifesto (AKA Dragon Ball as My Immortal)

by MyriadMusings, plum_kouki



Category: Dragon Ball, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (in which a horrible idea was concieved and we went through in making it), Crack, Deliberate Badfic, Every real life band is replaced with DBZ characters, M/M, Multi, References to My Immortal, Trunks suffers way too much in this story, Violence, same goes for celebrities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-01-16 17:02:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 20,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18525817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyriadMusings/pseuds/MyriadMusings, https://archiveofourown.org/users/plum_kouki/pseuds/plum_kouki
Summary: In which the Zero Mortals Plan is all just a fanfiction written by Zamasu because he couldn't handle having a crush on Son Goku. Watch as his ramblings go into a wild ride depicting him as the infamous Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way, Goku as Draco Malfoy and Vegeta as Harry 'Vampire' Potter. This story will not make sense, and is all based on the infamous My Immortal Harry Potter fanfiction!





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a stupid idea that came into our brains, and of course, we had to transform it into the monstrosity it is and share it throughout the world. This fanfiction is basically just an edited My Immortal fanfic with names replaced and some things added and deleted here and there. It won't be exactly the same as the original. (Also, we won't blame you if you can't go through the fanfic, it's going to be just as bad as you think it is. We did, however, snort and laugh while making it.)
> 
> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Supreme Kai as Amy Lee  
> Future Trunks as Himself 
> 
> (Trunks at the end is prob going to be a recurring gag in this story.)

Hi my name is Zamasu Dark'ness Dementia Ivory Kai and I have short white hair in a mohawk (that's how I got my name), and pale silver eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like the Supreme Kai (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to the Supreme Kai but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a kai but I'm clearly more divine than a regular one. I have jade green skin. I'm also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm like millions of years old, but I look seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black and yellow coat with a long purple sleeved shirt on top of it, a light blue sash, dark blue baggy pants and white combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, green foundation, black eyeliner and black eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of mortals stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Zamasu!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….Son Goku!

"What's up, mortal?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my master call me and I had to go away.

And Trunks was there, so I gave him the finger before leaving. Stupid mortal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Goku Black as Raven  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Ginyu Force as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Future Trunks as Himself

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was all black and inside it was lime green velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant Ginyu Force t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on my pair of orange potaras in my pierced ears, and brushed my hair into a messy mohawk.

My friend, Goku Black woke up then and grinned at me. He flipped his spiky pink hair and opened his silver eyes. He put on his Pilaf Gang t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick, white/green foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Son Goku yesterday!" he said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Goku?" he asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" he exclaimed. Just then, Goku walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, The Time Breakers are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love TB. They are my favorite band, besides GF.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

Trunks was also there. I stuck out my divine tongue at him. Bitch.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Cell and the Juniors as Simple Plan  
> Time-Breaker Bardock as Joel Madden  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Gine McNegi as Hillary Duff  
> Lord Slug as Benji Madden  
> Future Trunks as Himself

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some TB. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was green and divine anyway. I drank some tea so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Goku was waiting there in front of his flying nimbus. He was wearing a Cell and the Juniors t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner because a lot of kewl boiz wore it.

"Hi Goku!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Zamasu." he said back. We walked into his flying black nimbus cloud (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to the Timebreakers and the Pilaf Gang. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped off of the cloud. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to the Timebreakers.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Bardock (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Bardock is so fucking hot." I said to Goku, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Goku looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Goku sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Bardock and he's going out with Gine fucking McNegi. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly Saiyan face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Goku. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Lord Slug and Bardock for their autographs and photos with them. We got TB concert tees. Goku and I crawled back onto the Flying Nimbus, but Goku didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the cloud into… the Forbidden Forest!

Also Trunks was there and I killed his mom lol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Future Trunks and Xeno Goten as Themselves

"Goku!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Goku didn't answer but he stopped the flying cloud and he walked off of it. I walked off of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Zamasu?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Goku leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Goku kissed me passionately. Goku climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. (I was wearing a bra btdubs) Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my godly body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Master Roshi! 

Trunks and Xeno Goten were there too. Roshi gave them detention and I laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Professor Piccolo as Professor Severus Snape  
> Professor Vados as Professor McGonagall  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Master Roshi made and Goku and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my green face. Goku comforted me. When we went back to the castle Master Roshi took us to Professor Piccolo and Professor Vados who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Vados.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Piccolo.

And then Goku shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"

Everyone was quiet. Master Roshi and Professor Vados still looked mad but Professor Piccolo said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Goku and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Zamasu?" Goku asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the kai’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Goku was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by the Timebreakers. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

And Trunks was there. I kicked him out bcause he’s not a kai. Bitch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Future Trunks as Himself

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull Potara earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with tea instead of milk, and a mug of red tea. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the tea spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have a widow’s peak anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Goku’s. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Bardock McBurdockroot. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a kai so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth, although most people call me Vegeta the prince of all Saiyans these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I’m the prince of all Saiyans." he giggled.

"Well, I am a kai." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Goku came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Also Trunks was there. I made him spill his breakfast onto the floor so everyone laughed at him. Bitch.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Professor Piccolo as Professor Severus Snape  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Goku and I held our pale lime green/white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Daburaist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vegeta. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Goku. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Goku. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Goku, Goku!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Goku's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vegeta!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Goku pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have Space Monkey Rabies anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Goku ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vegeta's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Piccolo and some other people.

"VEGETA MCVEGETASON THE FOURTH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

Trunks was there. He told me not to yell @ his dad from the past. I yelled at him too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Goku came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Zamasu, it's not what you think!" Goku screamed sadly.

My friend Lapis Seven’teen Smith smiled at me understatedly. He flipped his long waste-length gothic black hair and opened his crimson eyes like blood that he was wearing contact lenses on. He had pale white skin that he was wearing white makeup on. Lapis was kidnapped when he was born. His real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Jiren killed his mother and his father committed suicide because he was depressed about it and then Gero happened. He still has nightmares about it and he is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out his real last name is Smith and not Parkranger. (Since he has converted to Daburaism he is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Piccolo demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vegeta, I can't believe you cheated on me with Goku!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Zamasu was so mad at me. I had went out with Vegeta (I'm bi but Zamasu is gay) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Bulma, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Goku anymore!" said Vegeta.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Goku and then I started to bust into tears.

Trunks was there, but I punched him so he went away so I could cry.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Bardock McBurdockroot/Time-Breaker Bardock as Joel Madden  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Goku for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Goku.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with grey skin, black eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Jiren in the ToP) and he was wearing all black and red spandex but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Jiren!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Jiren shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Jiren fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Zamasu." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth!"

I thought about Vegeta and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Bardock McBurdockroot. I remembered that Goku had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Goku went out with Vegeta before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Jiren!" I shouted back.

Jiren gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Goku!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Jiren got a dude-ur-so-stupid look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vegeta, then thou know what will happen to Goku!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Goku came into the woods.

"Goku!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Bardock McBurdockroot and Ginyu McFrogman.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

Trunks was there. He yelled about getting revenge one day. I gave him the middle figner. Bitch.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Bloody Gothic Super Saiyan Rosé 666 as Bloody Gothic Rose 666  
> The Timebreakers/TB as Good Charlotte  
> Hercule and the Satans as Slipknot  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Lapis Seven'teen/Android 17 as B'loody Mary/Hermione  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Cell and the Juniors as Simple Plan  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I was really scared about Jiren all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Super Saiyan Rosé 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between TB, Hercule and the Satans and GF. The other people in the band are Lapis Seven’teen, Vegeta, Goku, Son Gohan (although we call him Gayhan now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Bah. Only today Goku and Vegeta were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Goku was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a saian and the only way you can kill a saiyan is with a S-p-e-c-i-a-l B-e-a-m C-a-n-n-o-n (there's no way I'm writing that) or a self-explosion) and Vegeta was probably watching a depres sing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my godliness and tiny matching miniskirt that said Cell and the Juniors on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Zamasu! Are you OK?" Lapis Seven’teen asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Jiren came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Veggie-kun! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Goku. But if I don't kill Veggie-kun, then Jiren, will fucking kill Goku!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Goku jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser mortal bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Goku started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.  
We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Master Roshi walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Zamasu Goku has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

Trunks was there. He’s not allowed in my band. Bitch.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Lapis Seven'teen/Android 17 as B'loody Mary/Hermione Granger  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Red Ribbon Army as Linkin Park  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! Lapis Seven’teen tried to comfort me but I told him fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Master Roshi chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Red Ribbon Army song at full volume. I grabbed a sword and almost stuck it into my heart. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull Potara earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Pickle was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And King Furry was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of the Pilaf Gang on it. Suddenly Vegeta ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Piccolo and King Furry pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Piccolo and King Furry a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Master Roshi ran in. "Zamasu, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Piccolo and King Furry and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Bah ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Bah? You're just a giant green Vampa monster!"

"I MAY BE A VAMPA MONSTER…." Bah paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A DaburaIST!"

"This cannot be." Picc said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Master Roshi’s wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

King Furry held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough tea.

"Why are you doing this?" Kinfg Furry said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink tea because I felt faint.  
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Bah said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of Blizzard by Daichi Miura.

"Because you're goffic?" Picc asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Dabura.

"Because I LOVE HIM!"

Trunks was also there. He asked how Bah even knew me. I kicked him in the nads.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Ginyu Force as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Frieza McSpacelizard as Billie Joe Armstrong  
> Raditz the Saiyan as Samara from the Ring  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Professor Vados as Professor McGonagall  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Gonku had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

 

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS BAh but it was Vegeta. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY TAILHOLE HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

 

I stopped. "How did u know?"

 

"I saw it! And my tailhoe turned back into a tail!"

 

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a tail anymore!" I shouted.

 

"I do but Gayhan changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my tailhole hurt and it turned back into a tail! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Goku….Jiren has him bondage!"

 

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Picc and King Furry and BAH were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were creepos and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of GODS. Master Roshi had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

 

Anyway Bah came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

 

"Zamasu I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

 

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink unless it’s rosé anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Bah had been mean to me before for being gottik.

 

"No Zamasu." Bah says. "Those are not roses."

 

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

 

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Puicc and King Furry." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

 

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

 

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

 

"That's not a spell that's an GF song." I corrected him wisely.

 

 

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic GF fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for goku blakk I love you boiboy!)imo noto okayo!"

 

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

 

"OK I believe you now wtf is Goku?"

 

Bah rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

 

"U c, Zams," Master Roshi said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

 

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Bah yelled. mASSter roshi lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

 

Bah stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof Master Roshie!"

 

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Frieza McSpacelizard on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Raditz the Saiyan (if u don't know who he iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

 

"You look kawai, kai." Lapis Seven'teen said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I drank some tea. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Picc and King Furry couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vegeta was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Goku had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Goku. He was demanding royal tribute from a Hufflepuff.

 

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

 

We both looked at each other for some time. Veggiie-kun had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Gokus. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor Vodkas who was watching us and so was everyone else.

 

"Vegeta you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Goku!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

 

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY TAIL HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

 

"NO!" I ran up closer.

 

"I thought you didn't have a tail anymore!" I shouted.

 

"I do but Gayhan changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Goku….Jiren has him bondage!"

 

Trunks was there. He said didn’t this already happen? What a bitch.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Vegeta and I ran up the stairs looking for Master Roshi. We were so scared.

 

"Master Roshi Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Master Roshi came there.

 

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

 

"Jaren has Goku!" we shouted at the same time.

 

He laughed in an evil voice.

 

"No! Don't! We need to save Goku!" we begged.

 

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Jiren does to Goku. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Zamasu." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vetega started crying. "My Goku!" he moaned. (AN: move aside ‘my bulma’ dis is da reel shit!)

 

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

 

"What?" I asked him.

 

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Jjren's lair!

 

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Alla Kedavra!"

 

It was….. Jiren!

 

Also Trunks was there. I hoped he wuld get hit by the spell. He didn’t. Bitch.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Princess Snake as Snaketail/Wormtail  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Future Trunks as Himself

We ran to where Jren was. It turned out that Jiren wasn't there. Instead Princess Snake was there. Goku was there crying tears of blood. Princess Snake was torturing him. Vegeta and I ran in front of Princess Snake.

 

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" she shouted as we started shooting her with the gun he Then suddenly she looked at me and she fell down with a lovey-dovey look in her eyes. "." she said. (in dis she is a kai yrs old so shes not a creepo ok)

 

"Huh?" I asked.

 

"Zamasu I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Princess Snake. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? Me, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard. Also I’m gay." I said angrily. Then I stabbed her in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

 

"Nooooooooooooo!" sshe screamed. She started screaming and running around. Then she fell down and died because she wasn’t really a kai. I brust into tears sadly.

 

"Princess Snake what art thou doing?" called Jiren. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vegeta went away. There I started crying.

 

"What's wrong honey?" asked Goku taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

 

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other kais and mortals here except for Lapis Seven'teen, because he's not ugly or anything."

 

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Goku.

 

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Piccolo and King Furry took a video of me naked. Bah says he's in love with me. Vegeta likes me and now even Princess Snake is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Goku! Why couldn't Dabura have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory Zamasu isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

 

And then Trunks was there. I spat on his face. Bitch.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Bardock McBurdockroot/Time-Breaker Bardock as Joel Madden  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Commander Red as Chester Bennington  
> Perfect Cell as Pierre Bouvier  
> Gine McNegi as Hillary Duff  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Ginyu Force as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"Zamasu Zamasu!" shouted Goku sadly. "No, please, come back!"

 

But I was too mad.

 

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vegeta!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of the Pilaf Gang on it. Pilaf looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Goku and Vegeta. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank my tea all depressed. Then I looked at my black TB watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

 

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Bardock all over them with blood red letters. I put my snowy white hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Goku!

 

"Zamasu I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful kai in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Bardock was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Ginyu, Bardock, Commander Red, Perfect Cell and Pilaf (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

 

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Goku's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Gine McNegi (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and BmB in a Saiyanella Story. Then we went away holding hands. King Furry shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that GF would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

 

And then Trunks was there. What a loser. I farted in his general direction.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Ginyu Force as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> The Pride Troopers as the Death Eaters  
> Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Bardock McBurdockroot/Time-Breaker Bardock as Joel Madden  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Son Xicor as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Future Trunks as Himself

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where TB had played. We ran in happly. Ginyu Force were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Ginyu looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Goku thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Goku was wearing a black baggy GF t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Ginyu pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Jiren and da Pride Troopers!

 

"Wtf Goku im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its GF n u no how much I lik them"

 

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

 

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

 

"We won't do that again." Goku promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

 

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christin or what now?"

 

"NO." he muttered loudly.

 

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

 

"Zamasu! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by TB to me.

 

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! "OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

 

Lapis Seven'teen was standing there. "Hajimemashite kaio." he said happily (he spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Ribrianne that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: GOKU BLACK U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

 

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

 

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Ribrianne will die too." I said.

 

"Kawai." Lapis Seven’teen shook his head enrgtically lethriTBly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her."

 

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

 

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with gonk tonight in Hogsmeade with GF." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

 

Laps Sevn’teeen Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

 

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

 

"No." My head snaped up.

 

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "Lapis Seven'teen are u a PREP?"

 

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" He laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

 

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Goku or Gayhan or Vegeta(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

 

"Masster Roshi." He sed. "Let me just call our INSTANT TRANSMIT."

 

"OMFFG MASSTER ROSHI?" I asked quietly.

 

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." He told me. "Come on let's go."

 

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN BARDOCK EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

 

"Da real goffs?" Me and Lapis Seven'teen asked.

 

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday King Furry and picc tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

 

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

 

"Oh my Dabura you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

 

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said Lapis Seven'teen.

 

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

 

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's zanusu dark'ness dementia IVORY kai what's yours?"

 

"Son Xicor." He said and ran a hand through his white-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

 

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf gonku you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Bah flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG ZAMUSS U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

 

Also Trunks was there. He was eating dog food like a poor person. Lol.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Xicor as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Turles/Turlass as Navel (Neville Longbottom)/Dracula  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> The Pride Troopers as the Death Eaters  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Yamcha McWolffangfuck as Avril Lavigne  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Son Xicor gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Bah kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Bah?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Ribrianne came. Bah went away angrily.

 

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.

 

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Ribrianne’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how blue she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything.

 

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Goku?" she asked.

 

"Yah." I said happily.

 

"I'm gong with Gayhan." she anserred happily. Well anyway Goku and Gayhan came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Gayhan was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like the Pilaf Gang. Goku was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black TB t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. Lapis 1’7 was going 2 da concert wif Turlass. Turlass used to be called Turles but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were kais. They dyed in a car crash because they weren’t really kais but they were saiyans. Turles converted to Daburaism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Tree of Might t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Turlass now. Well anyway we al went 2 Goku's black flying nimbis (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Bardock (but not like Bardock from TB because that’s groos lol) gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Goku and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking mortals. We soon got there….I gapsed.

 

Ginyu was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak horns n piercing black eyes. He wuz really musclular and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Ginyu polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Ginyu at all! It was an ugly mortal man wif no nose and black eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Goku. Goku and I came. It was….Juren and da Pride Troopers!

 

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Zamasu, I told u to kill Vegeta. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Goku!"

 

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

 

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'Yamcha McWolffangfuck' on da back. He shotted a spel and Jiiren ran away. It was…MASSTERROSHII!

 

Also Trunks was there. He wasn’t dancing to the music. Bitch.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Ginyu Force as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Red Ribbon Army as Linkin Park  
> Son ChiChi as Ashlee Simpson  
> Spice Boys as the Backstreet Boys  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Turles/Turlass as Navel (Neville Longbottom)/Dracula  
> Guldo as Mikey Way  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Frieza McSpacelizard as Billie Joe Armstrong  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

 

(Da night before Goku and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Masster Rosh chased Jiern away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Goku had a black GF boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Red Ribbon Army song.)

 

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Son ChiChi and the Spice Boys.

 

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to Lapis Seven'teen and Ribrianne. Lapis Seven'teen was wearing a black leather mini with a Timebreakers t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Ribrianne was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vegeta, Turlass and Goku came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Guldo or Ginyu McFrogman or Frieza McSpacelizard. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

 

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Turles was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Jiern yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

 

"….Master Roshi?1!" we all gasped.

 

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Jeirn!"

 

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

 

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.

 

"BTW you can call me Muten." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

 

"What a fucking poser!" Goku shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vegeta looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Ginyu) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Ribrianne shouted.

 

I was so fucking angry.

 

Also Trunks was there. He was crying. Good.

 

Bitch.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Ginyu Force as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Frieza McSpacelizard as Billie Joe Armstrong  
> Supreme Kai as Amy Lee  
> Bardock McBurdockroot/Time-Breaker Bardock as Joel Madden  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Son Xicor as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle  
> Future Trunks as Himself

All day we sat angerly finking about Masstr Roshi. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da GF concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

 

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Goku was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

 

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big black eyes like Frieza in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black GF t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy mohawl like the Supreme Kai in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)

 

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

 

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

 

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

 

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

 

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Goku banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Kcodrab in the video for Girls and Bois (goku black that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

 

Suddenly Bah came. He had appearated.

 

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da kai’s room?"

 

Only it wasn't just Bah. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Son Xicor or maybe Goku but it was Masster Roshi.

 

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. 

 

"What are u wearing to the concert?"

 

"U no who GF r!" I gasped.

 

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Goku has a surprise for u."

 

Trunks was also there. Creepo going into a kai’s room. I sprayed him with holy mace. Bitch.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Mr. Popo as Dobby the House Elf  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Future Trunks as Himself

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. GF were gong 2 do the concert again, since Jrien had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 GF in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Goku so we could do it again.

 

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was King Furry! "R u gonna cum creep on me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because MassterRoshi had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Picc since he was a creepo.

 

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily.

 

"Yah, so u can fuk ur uglyy gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

 

"Fuker." He said, gong away.

 

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Picclo and King Furry were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Mr. Popo was watching!1

 

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Mr. Popo ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking mortlas. (btw picclo is movd 2 griffindoor now)

 

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

 

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Kong Furr shouted angrily.

 

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

 

"You dimwit!." Picclo began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

 

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

 

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Master Roohu. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vegeta, looking extremely fucking hot.   
  


"WTF where'd Goku?" I asked him.

 

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vegeta said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"

 

Then….. he showed me his flying space pod. I gasped. It was a black pod. He said his dogfather Nappa had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed GF666 on it. The one on da back said 'Zamasu' on it.

 

….I gasped.

 

We flew to the concert hall. GF were there, playing.

 

Vegeta and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Ginyu was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Goku, cryin in a corner.

 

And then Trunks was there. He wasn’t even wearing eyeliner. I threw some at him and it hit him in the face. Bitch.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Yajirobe as Mr. Norris  
> Korin as Flich  
> Elder Kai as Cornelius Fudge  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Later we all went in the skull. Goku was crying in da common room. "Goku are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

 

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

 

"Its ok Zamasu." said Vegeta comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

 

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Goku. Vegeta came too.

 

"Goku please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

 

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vegeta got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Yajirobe there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

 

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Korin come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

 

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Yajirobe.

 

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vegeta said under his breast in a disgusted way.

 

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Yajirobe. Den he heard Korn meow. "Korin is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Korin nodded. And then….Vegtea frenched me! He did it jus as….. Yajirobe was taking of da cloak!1

 

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Goku crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

"Goku!" I cried. "R u okay?"

 

"I guess though." Goku weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Goku and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Elder Kia and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

 

And then Trunks was there. I socked him in the face and punted him out of my room. Bitch.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Turles/Turlass as Navel (Neville Longbottom)/Dracula  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Cell and the Juniors as Simple Plan  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Bardock McBurdockroot/Time-Breaker Bardock as Joel Madden  
> Supreme Kai as Amy Lee  
> Lazuli Eight'een/Darkness/Android 18 as Darkness/Jenny  
> Shallot as Vincent Crabbe  
> Giblet as Gregory Goyle  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Bulma as Britney  
> Gine McNegi as Hillary Duff  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Elder Kai as Cornelius Fudge  
> Oolong McPigface as Professor Dolores Umbridge  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Future Trunks as Himself

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

 

Standing in front of me where…. Lapis Seven;teen, Vegeta, Gayhan, Goku, Turlass and Ribrianne!

 

I opened my silver eyes. Ribrianne was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vegeta was wearing a baggy Cell and the Juniors t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Goku was wearing a black GF t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Ginyu McFrogman, and almost as fucking sexy. Vegeta looked like Bardock McBurdockroot. Lapis Seven'teen was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that he had ripped so it showed of all his chest with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and GF lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Supreme Kai wear once. Darkness (who is Lazuli Eight’een) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Shallot and Giblet. It turns out that Darkness, Gayhan, Shallot and Giblet’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Dabraism.

 

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

 

"Zamasu something is really fucked up." Goku said.

 

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

 

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Goku said in a sexy voice.

 

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

 

"I will I will." he said.

 

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Bulma from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Gine McNegi t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Masster Roshie. Edlrr Kai was there shouting at Master Roshi. Oolong McPigface was there too.

 

"THIS CANNOT BE!" he shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

 

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Older Kai.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Olong. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR JIREN WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

 

"Very well." Master Roshi said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Jiren and he is in the school. And his name is…..Zamasu Dark'ness Dementia Ivory Kai."

 

Goku, Shallot, Giblet, Darkness, Ribrianne, Vegeta and Lapis Seven'teen looked at each other…I gasped.

 

Also Trunks was there, but he wasn’t capable of killing Jiren with his filthy mortal bitch hanfs.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Otokosuki/Leather Bear/Guy Who Hit on Trunks At the World Tournament as Himself  
> Lazuli Eight'een/Darkness/Android 18 as Darkness/Jenny  
> Shallot as Vincent Crabbe  
> Giblet as Gregory Goyle  
> Bulma as Britney  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Elder Kai as Cornelius Fudge  
> Oolong McPigface as Professor Dolores Umbridge  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Future Trunks as Himself

The door opened and Proffesor ologn and Edler Kai stomped out angrily. Then Masster Roshie and Olong sawed us.

"MR. KAI WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Olong shouted angrily. Master Roshi blared at his.

"Oops he made a mistake!" he corrupted him. "He means hi everybody cum in!"

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Goku and opposite Lapis Seven'teen. Shallot and Giblet started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Otokosuki (who we call Leather Bear). I eight some Count Chocula and drank tea from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vegeta! He and Goku were shooting at eachother.

"Vegeta, Goku WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Goku at Vegeta. "I want to shit next to him!1"

"No I do!" shouted.

"No he doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Goku.

"No fuck you motherfucker he laves me not you!" shouted Vegeta. And then… he jumped on Goku! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Masterr Roshie yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a blank and red spandex suit. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Bulma that fucking prep started to cry. Vegeta and Goku stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Giren!

"Zamsu…..Zamasu…." Darth Jiern sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vegeta as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Goku too!"

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Goku and Vegeta came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Jiernt coming to kill Goku while Goku slit his wrists in a depressed way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Zamasu Zamasu aure you alright?" asked Goku in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Zamasu." said Vegeta all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"

"Its ok kaii." said Lapis Seven'teen. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Towa about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.

Also Trunks was there, so I pushed him into a toilet that I magiced into the room with my godpowers. Bitch.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Krillin the Strong as Emily the Strong  
> Bulma as Britney  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Red Ribbon Army as Linkin Park  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Towa in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead white hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a deomn. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n lapis seven’teeen get along grate) She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Krillin the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Zamasu?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the mortals who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Towa said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Bulma." she pointed at Bulma and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Goku gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" she asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Goku. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Red Ribbon Army t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Toaw.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

I went to Goku and Vegeta was sitting next to him. We both followed Goku together and I was so exhibited.

Trunks was there, but he had to stay behind bcause he got detention for being a bitch.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Red Ribbon Army as Linkin Park  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I was so excited. I fellowed Goku wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went onto Goku's black cloud.

"Zamasu what the fuck did Profesor Towa say." whispered Goku potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the cloud into a tree. We went to the top of it. Goku put on some GF.

"And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Ginuy's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.  
"OMFG Goku Goku!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Zamasu what's wrong?" Goku asked me as I woke up opening my icy silver eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Goku to call Vegeta. He did it with his blak Red Ribbon Army mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Bardock (Gokus dad) and Nappa!111

Also Trunks was there. He needed firewood since hes not alowed to sleep inside the scool. I threw a pinecone at him. Bitch.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Future Trunks as Himself

A few mutates later Vegeta came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Time Breakers t-shirt.

"Hi Vegeta." I said flirtily as I started to sob. Goku hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vegeta shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Masaster Roshi."

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Master Roshie was sitting in his office.

"Sire are dads have been shot!" Goku said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Zamasu had a vision in a dreem."

Masaeter Roshu started to cockle. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Zamasu's not divisional?"

I glared at Master Roshi.

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Masster Roshie gasped (c is da toot of crakter). "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Napa and Barduck - pornto!"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Goku, Vegeta and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Goku to wait in the nurses office while Vegeta went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Nappa and Barodck came in on stretchers….and Proffesor Towa was behind them!1

Trunks was there, because the pinkone I threw at him gave him a booboo. Bitch.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Lazuli Eight'een/Darkness/Android 18 as Darkness/Jenny  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Yajirobe as Mr. Norris  
> Shallot as Vincent Crabbe  
> Giblet as Gregory Goyle  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Gokou, Badrock, Nappa bond Vegeta all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Cum on Zamasu." said Proffesor Toaw. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition."

I locked at Badok, Napapa, Gonku and Vegeta. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Toowa took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said… "Zamasu, I see drak times are near." She said badly. She peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Machine like Trunks the Bithc had. "When Jiern was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Jirren if he was in love?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Goku and Vegeta.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Ribrianne and Lapis Seven’teen?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Barkocd and Nappa being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Goku. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Master Roshie. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking mortalz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the demon sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of them. Even Yajirobee looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Shalt and Gibble set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vegeta and Goku and we sneaked outside 2gether.

Trunks was there. He wanted to celebr8 but I kicked him in the shins and he cried. Bitch.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Professor Vados as Professor McGonagall  
> Future Trunks as Himself

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik GF, TB and Pilaf Gang all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Gokku and Vegeta.

"Are you okay?" Veget asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Goko also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Jinert. Ill have 2 go bak in time"  
Goku started to cry sadly. Vegeta hugged him.

"Itz okay Zamasru." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

 

We frenched sexily. Vegeta looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Goku's GF shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vegeta tattoo that said Zamasu on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Ginyu McFrogman. Vegeta took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Zamasru. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vegeta filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was….Picocolo and Profesor Vados!111

Trunks was there too. He was trying to get his camera back from Vegeta. Vegeta didn’t give it back.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Professor Vados as Professor McGonagall  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Sun Wukong as Tom Felton  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"Oh my Dabura!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Picc and Professor Vadoks started to shoot at us angrily.

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher Cados yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Picco garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vegeta shooted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" Goku demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Madter Roshie noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Picolo laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor Valos. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Goku started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol sun wukong rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as ginuyu ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz goku blakk sed so ok so fok u!1). Vegeta took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then….. he and Picolo both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

"Crosio!" I shouted. Picc stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor Vados did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Picoloo I'm going 2 go now." She left. Picc started to laugh evilly. Vegeta started to cry.

"It's ok Zamasu." said Goku. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Pickle."

Piccolo laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

Trunks wasn’t there for once. What a bitch.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Tien Shinhan as Kurt Cobain  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Picc stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Goku!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Goku and nit a candle.

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Piicolo laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vegeta." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll kill Goku!1"

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Goku looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a Daburaist) between Tien Shinhan and Ginyu But then I looked at Vegeta and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Goku and Master Rohsi came and the tame where Goku almost commited suicide and Vegeta wuz so sportive.

Piolo laughed angrily. He started to prey to Jiren. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Goku and Vegeta. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my god powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Goku and Vegeta so they would destruct Piccolo.

"Masster Roshie will get u!" Goku shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vegeta yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Picc yielded. Just as he was about to kil him….

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Piccol scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Napa. I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Piccolo but suddenly Nappa came.  
Nappa put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Pic I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Bradock and Profesor Towaw came in2 da room and they and Napap unlocked the chains and put dem around Picc. Then Profesor Towa said 'Come on Zamasu let's go.”

Trunks still wasn’t there. I h8 that bicth.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Crane School as Nirvana  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Lazuli Eight'een/Darkness/Android 18 as Darkness/Jenny  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Son Xicor as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle  
> Jeice McMagmaman as Mikey Way  
> Frieza McSpacelizard as Billie Joe Armstrong  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"I always knew u were on Jiren's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." Napap said 2 Piccolo.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Picc clamed.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Jirenserum out of my poket and gave it to Nappa. He made Picc dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Braock took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Picc. Then Proffesor Towar and Baddock made us get out wif them while Piccolo told his secretes. Bardonk took Vegeta and Goku to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Toowa took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Jiren. Moving posters of GF and Crane School were all over. Lapis, Darkness and Ribrianne came too. Lapis Seven'teen gave me a blak bag from Son Xicor's store.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Toaw.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Ribrianne had chosen. Ribrianne and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." Lapis Seven'teen said.

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Towwa. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Towa said. Then she and Lapis Seven'teen put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Ribrianne gave me deth's touch sin. Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Jeice McMagmaman only black. He had red eyes like Friza McSpacelizard and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was….SON XICOR!1111

Trunks was also there. He used his tiem machine. I gave him a noogie. Bitch.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Xicor/Dabura as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan  
> The Freeza Force as Green Day  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Universe Angels as Evanescence  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Zamasu Kai da new student." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

 

"Da name's Xicor." he said. "But u kan call me Dabura. Datz ma middle nam"

 

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Dabura said. I followed him. 

 

"Hey Dabura…..do u happen to be a fan of the Freeza Force?" (sinz GF and Universe Angels dont exist yet den) I asked.

 

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Dabura gasped. "actually I like TB a lot too."(geddit coz TB did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)

 

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

 

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." Dabura whispered.

 

"hogsment?" I asked.

 

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

 

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

 

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned.

 

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is Rashie your princepill?" I shouted.

 

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

 

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

 

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

 

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

 

Suddenly masster rishi flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

 

Dabura rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and kais just becose we're in slytherine and we're not mortal scum."

 

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

 

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

 

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

 

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

 

"hey where r u goin?" Dabura asked as I fell.

 

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor twoa’s classroom. Maaster roshi wuz dere. "Masster roshie I think I just met u." I said.

 

"oh yeah I rememba that." masser roshi said, trying to be all goffik.

 

Towa came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf Zamasu what da hell r u doing?"

 

:"um." I looked at her.

 

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

 

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

 

professor towa looked sad. "um I was drinking Jirenserum." she started to cry black tears of depression. rossie didn't know about them.

 

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

 

"fuck off!" we both said and rossie took his hand away.

 

professor toowa started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg Zamasu…I think im addicted to Jirenserum."

 

Trunks was there. He’s not allowed to haev Jirenserum because hes bitch.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Son Xicor/Dabura as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Future Trunks as Himself

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Zasaru, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask SON xICOR 4 sum help?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Goku was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak TB tshit which wuz his panamas.

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Zamasu?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Ginyu McFroigaman when hes talking.

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How far did u go wif Dabura?" Goko asked jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Goku asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

"What happened 2 Picocolo?" I growled.

"U will see." Goku giggled mistressly. He opened a door…Picc nd King Furry werz there!11 Nappa waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" King Furryy bagged as Nappa started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Picc bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r creepoz nd Picc trid 2 kili dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Picolo's blod den Gokou and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in HFIL. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Goku put on 'desolition liverz' by GF. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.

"Oh Goku!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Goku!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.

"I luv u ZaMasu." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

Trunks was in my dreem. I killed him. Bitch.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Universe Angels as Evanescence  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Supreme Kai as Amy Lee  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Son Xicor/Dabura as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan  
> Emperor Pilaf as Marylin Manson  
> Baby as Professor Slughorn  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I wook up in da coffin de next day. Goku waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…. Nappa cocked on da door. I hopened it.

"Hi Samazu." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Twoa’s office."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Goku or maybe lessen to GF or Universe Anglez. I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 Picc and King Furry?" I asked Nappa flirtily.

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."  
I laughed evilly.

"Where r Goku and Beetgeta?" I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Napa moaned sexily. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

We went into da office. Proffesor Towa was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Supreme Kai wears in this pic

( http/ She wuz drinking some Jirenserum.

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

"Zamasu, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

And then….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Dabura. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Emprer Pilaff. I noticed…he was drinking a portent.

"Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Profesor Baby." Dabura said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Zamasu?"  
"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat the Pilaf Gang is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"

I wish Trunks was here so I could scream in his little bitch ear.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Xicor/Dabura as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Red Ribbon Army as Linkin Park  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> The Timebreakers/TB as Good Charlotte  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> Bloody Gothic Super Saiyan Rosé 666 as Bloody Gothic Rose 666  
> The Freeza Force as Green Day  
> Future Trunks as Marty McFly

I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Dabura. Suddenly I gasped…..Goku wuz there!111

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Rad robbin Armey t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

"Goku what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Goku. It was Bradokc!1 He stil had two arms.

"Oh hi Bardkoc!1" I sed. "Im Zamasu the new student lol we shook handz."

"Yah Dabura told me abot you." Barrdoc said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Napa, Vegeta's dad and…Picc! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Timebreakers band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da the Pilaf Gang show as back-up.

"ORLY." I ESKED.

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Nappa plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Picc plays the boss. And Kign Vegeta plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Barodcak looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.

"Its okay but we need a new led sigger." Samaro said.

"Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself."

"Rilly?" asked Picc. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Super Saiyan Rosé 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Friza Forc.

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Bradok, Samoro, Napap and Picc.

"Um….ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Trunks!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Zamasu." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111

He’s still a bitch tho.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Son Xicor/Dabura as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Elder Kai as Cornelius Fudge  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Oolong McPigface as Professor Dolores Umbridge  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Toowa. Lapis Seven’teen, Napa and Goku, Vegeta and Ribrianne were their to.

"OMFG Naape I saw u nd Samaro and Picc nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Picc uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Napap said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Toa said in an emo voice dirnking some Jirenserom.

Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Dabura asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."

"Oh my Dabura!1" (geddit lolz koz hes gofik) gasped Lapis Seven’teen. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Toaw.

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Rebrianne.

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Towaa so she wont be adikted 2 Jarenserum anymore nd also….sum luv potion 4 Zamasu." Goko said resultantly.

"Well we have potions klass now." Ribrianne said so let's go.

We went sexily to Potionz class. But Picc wasn't there. Instead there was…Alder Kai!11111

"Hey where the fuck is Masster Roshie!111" Goku shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Eldr Kia. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Picc and King Furry he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Picc used to be gottik!1" Vegeta asked surprisedly.

"DATZ IT!11" OLD KI SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR OLANG!111"

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some tea mixed wif beer. Suddenly I saw Bah in da cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Goku. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly…"BAHH WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.

I looked around….Bahh wuz putting sumfing in my glass of tea!11 Goku and Vegeta started 2 beat him up sexily.

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Bah. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da tee. It was…Amnesia Portion!111

Trunks was there and his potion exploded.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Bulma as Britney  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Son Xicor/Dabura/Jiren as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan/Voldemort  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Oolong McPigface as Professor Dolores Umbridge  
> Future Trunks as Marty McFly  
> Baby as Professor Slughorn  
> Nappa/Hades as Sirius Black  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Big Gete Star as Slipknot

GOKU'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vegeta and I chaind Bah 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking Dabura!11" Zamasu said. He wuz so hot. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Dabura foll in love wif me faster!1"

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Zamsu," said Vegeta. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Zamasu.

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Bulma, a fucking prep.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Rebrianne.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Toaw's room."

Goku, Zamsu and I went to Profesor Towaa's room. But Profesor Towa wasn't there. Instead Son Xicor was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.

"OK Profesor Towaa isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Goku. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking Dabura!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Towwa is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Master Roshie who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Ooolongg.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly Masster Roshue came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Tronkkss's blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Goku and Vegeta. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…Profesor Baby's efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Babee!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Baabe.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Napap, Samaro and Picc were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by GF.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Dabura?"

"Oh he's cumming." said Nappa. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Dabura came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Big Gete Star t-shirt and a blak tie.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Dabura.

Trunks wasn’t there becse I took his tiemmachine but if he was there hed be a bitch.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Xicor/Dabura/Jiren as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan/Voldemort  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> The Timebreakers/TB as Good Charlotte  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Emperor Pilaf as Marylin Manson  
> Jeice McMagmaman as Mikey Way  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Nappa/Hades as Sirius Black  
> Supreme Kai as Amy Lee  
> Future Trunks as Himself

Dabura and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Goku's cloud. I went in it seduktivly. Dubra started 2 drive it. We talked about Daburaism (lolz he wuz named after Dabura), kuttting, musik and being imkortal.

"Oh my Dabura, Ginyu is so fuking hot!11" Jiren agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." I said in a flirty voice.  
"….Hey Dabura do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Jirenseruem?"

"Well…" he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink kai blod."

Suddenly Jiten parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Dabura and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Dabura and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.

While Dabura was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Dabura's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Dabura turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.

"OMG!111" Dabura said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Zamasu gess what?"

I new that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gimyu McFrogman!11 We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a mortal fool.

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her with my kai pwoers.

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the mortals in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Dabura and I loked so cute 2gether. Dabura and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Jiren asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a kai." I said as we went into the car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum teaa. Dabura started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.  
"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. Dabura parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Goku and I had watched TB for the frist time. We went inside where the Pilaf Gang wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Pliaf on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Dabura. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Jeice McMagmaman. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly the Pilaf Gang stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" he said. I ran onstage. Bardoak, Samaro, Picc and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.  
"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Supreme Kai and a kai version of Ginyu McFrogman. Everyone clappd. Dabura got an eructation. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Bardoak started playing da song wrong by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded King Vegeta. "Wut the fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" said Barodka.

"You fuking ashhole!1" Kimng BVegeta shouted angrily.

"U guys are such prepz!11" Picc said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Napa.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Barodk but it wuz 2 late King Vegeta tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den…I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.

Trunks was there and he lafed at me.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Xicor/Dabura/Jiren as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan/Voldemort  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Professor Vados as Professor McGonagall  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I, the American retail wearing british Kai Sue, coughed up blood.

Dabura kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Kai Sue."

Dabura sobbed. "I love you Zamasu."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

Lapis Seven'teen Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. He frowned when he realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Zamasu's lifeless body, he screamed. His face became pale with horror. He screamed for the healers, Master Roshi, Vados, and every single gothic person he could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Zamasu. Everyone stared in shock. His body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.  
When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.  
All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the DB characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Goku and Jiren started fighting. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because mortals are trash, Vegeta and Seventeen fled the scene and got married.

Goku stopped fighting for just a moment as a moment of stunning realisation came to him. “Wait… Zamasu is a kai, right? Isn’t he immortal and he can’t die-”

A punch to the face from Jiren stopped his logic in its tracks and sent him flying across the mosh pit.

Meanwhile…

Down in hell, Zamasu shed a single tear because of his current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

He lost it all, but he knew he had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break him down.

He looked down over his pale green body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' He asked himself in confusion.

And then it occurred to him…

For his shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, he was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Zamasu realized, on his shoulder, he was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Zamasu supressed the urge to scream. Here he was decked out in clothes mortal-prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Zamasu hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Zamasu frowned, and looked under his shirt. All he saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Zamasu tried to remove the shirt again. But to his frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Zamasu bellowed out to the air. He failed to see the irony in his statement, how hypocritical his words were, seeing as he was practically calling the kettle black here. “AREN’T I A GOD? SHOULDN’T I BE FREE FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF DEATH?”

Zamasu slit his writs and mumbled to himself, "Omigod."

Trunks wasn’t there because he deserves a break.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Yajirobe as Mr. Norris  
> Dabura as Satan  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Professor Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> The Pride Troopers as the Death Eaters  
> The Timebreakers/TB as Good Charlotte  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin. Bah wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vegta and Goku had bet him up. Yajirode was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi Dabura wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Jiren came. He loked less mean then usual.

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vegeta yet!11" he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Jiren? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Baroakd, Profesor Towaa and Napa came! Lapis Seben’teen and Vegeta were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. JIREN DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Zamasu ur alive!111" Scremed Vegeta. I hugged him and Lapis Seven’teen.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my Dabura!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Zamasu u were almost shot!11" said Napa. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time adn also a kai so ur immoral."

"But fangz anyway!1" said Barodak holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vegeta's dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Picc wuz pozzesd by Picc bak den." said King Vegeta.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Napa said sadly. "He wuz really a Pride Troper."

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Bardock. "He didn't even realy no hu TB were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Yajirobe looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Goku?" I asked gothikally.

"No Goku told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Towwa. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Bardock, Nappa and Profesor Towa left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik kia on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak GF t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif Lapis Seven’teen, Rebrianne and Vegeta.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Rebrianne.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Goku!1" giggled Vegeta.

"Letz go lizzen 2 TB and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Seven’’ten. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Goku wuz there doing it wif Picc!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vegeta angrily as he took out his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Goku sadly as he took his thingie out of Picolo's.

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Rebrianne trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"Zamasu no!11111" screamed Goku but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

Fuck Trunks. Like serious.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Pilaf Gang as Marilyn Manson  
> Ape! at the Moon as Panic! at the Disco  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> Garlic Juniors as the Beatles  
> Son Xicor/Dabura/Jiren as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan/Voldemort  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy   
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> The Freeza Force as Green Day  
> Zarbon as Billie Joe Armstrong  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Dyspo as Hedwig  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Yajirobe as Mr. Norris  
> Future Trunks as Himself

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Pilaf Gang!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den Ape! At the Moon or GF) der wuz also a goffik blak Garlic Juniors calander with a picture of the galric junors werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Dabura(dis is actually jiren 4 photo refrenss!). Jiren wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11

"OMFG Zamasu r u ok." He asked gothikally.

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from King Vegeta's gun. I also rememberd cing Goku doing it wif Pocc!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine. aslo im kai so i cant die.

"No ur not dead." Dabura reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a kai so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Veheyta's dad is doing."

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! Kingn Vegeta almust shot Barodkac!" I said indigoally. I knew that Ling Vegeta had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Dabura reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's ok." I said because King Vegeta hadn't really shot Barfock. Also I noo that Barodkc wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Dabura. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Freeza Froce shirt (it showed zarbon wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Ginyu Mcforgamn in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

"Dis is…Dyspo!11" Sed Jiren. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.

"Hey Dyspo." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

"Lol hi Zamasu." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Dyspoo. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." Dabura said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!).

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Dyspo. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys."

Barodkc, King Vegeta, Nappa and Picc were all in da Grate Hall. Backdock woudnt talk wiv King Vegtea because he had tried 2 shoot him.

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Goku is never gong 2 b frends with vegeta now!1"

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Piccolo agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt King vegeta had almost shot Barodock.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Jieen good wivout doing it with him! Now Vegeta's dad wood never die and "OK Dabura and Dyapos, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.

"Kool." said Nsppa as Jiren and Dyapo started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Napap, Piccol and Barodke all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Piccolo was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Jiren! Jirent!" screamed Dsyp as his glock touched Jiren's.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame...Masster Roshie and Yajirobi!111111111111

Trunks wasn borne yet so he wasnt there to b a bith.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Dyspo as Hedwig  
> Son Xicor/Dabura/Jiren as Tom Rid/Satan/Voldemort  
> King Vegeta/Samaro as James Samaro Potter  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Piccolo/Picc as Severus Snape  
> Bardock as Lucius Malfoy  
> Yamcha McWolffangfuck as Avril Lavigne  
> Ja*Nemba as *NSYNC  
> Timebreakers as Good Charlotte  
> Future Trunks as Himself  
> Ginyu Force as My Chemical Romance  
> Raditz as Himself  
> Videl as Ginny Weasley  
> Bibidi Babadi Buu as From First to Last  
> Ribrianne as Willow  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Ape! at the Moon as Panic! at the Disco  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Towa as Professor Sinestra/Trelawney  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Piccolo as Professor Severus Snape  
> Bulma as Britney  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Elder Kai as Cornelius Fudge  
> Gine McNegi as Hillary Duff  
> Maron McBoob as Lindsey Lohan  
> Vegeta as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Bardock McBurdockroot as Joel Madden  
> The Time Breakers as Good Charlotte

I sat depressedly in Master Roshi's office wiv Daspy, Dabura, King Vegeta, Napa, Picc and Barodkc. Master Roshi was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Yamcha McWolffangfuck song.

"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Zasmasu, u jerk." Dabura said.

"Yah, siriusly he was trying to get Dabura and Dospu back together." Nappa said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Daburaists." Master Roshi cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a Ja*Nemba song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Master Roshi didn't notece.

"You fucking poser." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of TB." King Vehgeta said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Troneks's tim machine!11

"Shut up King Cegeta!" Goku's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Piccol said preppily.

"No u shut up Masster Roshi!1111" said Son.

"I've had enough of u Daburaists in my school!" shouted Master Roshi spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Dabura.

"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Master Roshi wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Dabura. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak GF corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Daburaist sins and my bone-white hair was all around me to my mid-black like Raditz but white and kailike.

"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice.

"Dis is da future. Masster Roshi's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.

"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered.

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon." He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Videl wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Bibidi Babadi Buu shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." said Rebrianne. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, blue foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Gayhan with his red hair. He waz wearing a black Ape! At the Moon t-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Zamasu?" Lapis Seven'teen questioned as he walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

"Oh its Dabura." I told him and he nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Dabura started to cry.

"Are you okay Dabura?" we asked concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.

"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by GF on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Gayhan a signal to keep Dabura occupied. Dabura fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Towaa ran in!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Goku!111 How did Picc get back here! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan." I asked sadly.

"Zamasu I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a kai. Piccolo came back because that girl Bulma freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Tawo said reassuredly.

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Bah and King Furry?" I shouted angrily. I hated Bulma because she was a fucking prep mortal and she’s also Trunks’ mom and she makes tie machines like a heathen.

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Masster Roshi is back Older Kaii is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!" Towa said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Goku? How cum he was doing it with Piccc?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Dabura was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Zamasu!11" everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Bulma laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Gine McNegi and Maron McBoob.

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Jiren will like totally kill u!" she laughed.

"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Bulma screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Piccolo and King Furry had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Jieren doing it with Dyspoo onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth. "OMG Veggeta!111" I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a App at the Mooon concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Bardock from the Timebreakers than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vegeta.

"I know but Im a kai lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Jiren from when he was yung with me."

"Where's Goku?" I asked spuriously.

"Goku? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?" Vegeta snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I'll do it den." Veggie-kun said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da Dork Mark appeared.

"Oh my fucking Dabura!" Veggie-kun shouted.

"I fink Jiren has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Goku!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vegeta sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.

Trunks was there. I almost missed his bitch face, so I slapped him.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> Ginyu McFrogman as Gerard Way  
> Ginyu Force/GF as MCR/My Chemical Romance  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Yajirobe as Mr. Norris  
> Jiren as Voldemort  
> Son Xicor/Dabura as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Recoome as Frank Iero  
> Cumber McTiddy as Brendan Urie  
> Future Trunks as Himself

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Goku was there! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!111 I felt mad at him for having sex with Piccolo but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gonyu McFroegmane with his red eyes and his pale white face.

"Goku are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly. I thought of the GF song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Goku why did you do it with that fucking bastard Piccolo?" I asked teardully.

"I-" Goku began to say but suddenly King Furry and Yajirobe appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.

"Im so glad we me and Piccolo were freed." said King Furry.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Yajirobe argreed.

"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.

"Noooooooo!1" Kimg Furry shouted as chains came on him. Yajirobe ran away.

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now u have 2 tell us where Jiren is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"

"I don't now where he is!1111" said King Furry. Suddenly Dabura and Vegeta ran in2 da room. Vegta didn't know who Dabura was really.

"Oh my Dabura, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vegta said. I looked sexily at Goku with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and muscles like Geinyu McFrongman, Vegeta with his sexy hair and red eyes just like Rocoom and Dabura who looked jist like Cumber McTiddy then.

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Goku sexily. King Furry gasped. Goku began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Veeta took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out lol. "Oh mi Dabura! Goku!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Veggie-kun. I began making out wiv Dabura and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Veegeta. "Oh Vegeta! Vegeta!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Dabura!" yelled Vegeta in pleasore. King Furry watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly…..

….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Picc wuz in it!11

Trunks ran into the room bcause Piccle didn’t have a drivers license nymore and he’s a goody two shoes but hes mortal filt so he couldnt stand the sight of my goldy body being plasured so he ran out screaming like a bitch.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zamasu Darkness Dementia Ivory Kai as Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way  
> Son Goku as Draco Malfoy  
> Piccolo/Pickle/Picc as Professor Severus Snape  
> King Furry as Remus Lupin  
> Son Xicor/Dabura/Jiren as Tom Rid/Tom Riddle/Satan/Voldemort  
> Vegeta McVegetason the Fourth/Veggie-kun as Harry Potter/Vampire  
> Brianne de Chateau/Ribrianne as Willow  
> Lapis Seven'teen Smith/Android 17 as B'loody Mary Smith/Hermione Granger  
> Son Gohan/Gayhan as Ron Weasley/Diabolo  
> Videl as Ginny Weasley  
> Turles/Turlass as Navel (Neville Longbottom)/Dracula  
> Zbroly and Sbroly as Fred and George Weasley  
> Bah as Hagrid  
> Professor Vados as Professor McGonagall  
> Master Roshi as Dumbledore  
> Nappa as Sirius Black  
> Bardock (Goku's Dad) as Lucian/Lucius Malfoy  
> Baby as Professor Slughorn  
> Goku Black as Raven  
> Future Trunks as Himself  
> Grand Zeno as Grand Zeno

"Dat's mi car!" shooted Goku angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Piccolo!

"I shall free you King Furry but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. "Zamasu Dark'ness Dementia Ivory Kai must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!"

"You fucking prep!" yelled Goku. Then he loked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Zamasu. I din’t have sexx with Piccolo because hes a namekian and he just wanted to make you sad so we pretended”

We all put our clothes on quickly except Dabura. We were so scarred!1 But Dabura didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with blak eyes, no nose, spandex and grey skin. He had changed into… Jiren!111

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in da room.

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vegeta. Suddenly Rebrianne, Lapis Seven'teen, Gayhan, Videl, Turlass, Zbroly and Sbroly, Bah, Vados, Masster Roshi, Nappa and Barfodck all ran in.

"What is da meaning of dis?" Master Roshii asked all angrily and Jiren lookd away (bcos master roshie is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Jieren flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.

"Oh my goth!" Baby gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Piccolo ejaculated menacingly.

"You fucking preps!" Nappa shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Veggie-kun but da sparks from his wand only hit Goku's car. It fell down Picc quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Goku and the video of Dabura doing it with

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull." He laughed meanly.

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with King Furry!11"

"Whats he talking abott?" King Furry slurped as he sat in chains.

"I saw 2 he's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Veggie-kun shouted angrily.

"Shut up!111'" Kimg Fuery roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Jiren from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again you fucking mortal poser!1" Veggie-kun yelled and then he and Gayhan and Turles both took out blak guns! But Jirne took out his own one.

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco Tueles's wand!11" cried Jirten nd suddenly Tuelesl's wind was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Zamasu u will die!11111"

He maid lighting come all over da place.

"Save us Zamasu!" Maaster Roshi cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Goku but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted

And then Jieren died. I fused with my bestie Goku Black and tried to kill evry1 esle, but Tronk also wuz there adn killd me wiv sword.

The timeline was promptly erased by Grand Zeno due to being not funny anymore.

THE END!


End file.
